Miaw Diaries
by Mademoiselle Pacoste
Summary: Another ending for Camlann. Less death. Spoilers. Morgana doesn't die.
1. Chapter 1

Camlann battlefield

It was early before the crack of dawn when Merlin reached the future battlefield. The battlefield that had been poisoning his sleep for such a very long time.

The Dragon Lord passed by the sleepy Saxon guards that were supposed to protect the headquarters of Morgana's territory. Well, he was dusguised as a bird so he should give them some credit for their mistake. He stopped at the entrance of the "queen's" tent. It was hardly fit for a queen, but she was hardly a queen. Merlin didn't want to know what she'd done to gain the authority over such an army. Yet he didn't stop there. He cast a glance over her sleeping body and then he left the tent. Morgana wasn't his priority in that moment.

He found Mordred not far from that place. He was sitting around the fire. His fury was mixed with grief. For a moment, Merlin felt sorry for the boy. Merlin knew pretty well what meant to lose someone dear to you, but it didn't excuse Mordred's betrayal, did it?

Yet he didn't want to kill him. He simply want to stop the boy from killing Arthur and going to his own death. The warlock's eyes shone amber and soon instead of a dark-haired knight there was a ginger fox. The fox glanced at him for a moment then he ran deep in the forest.

One problem solved, time for the next problem - Morgana.

The witch was still asleep. He hadn't seen her so seren for such a very long time. She looked so innocent just like a little girl. Merlin tried to rezist the temptation of taking her in his arms and caressing her. Yet he stopped. Instead he casted a spell on her and soon she was replaced by a dark kitten. She rolled playfully while still asleep without realizing she'd been changed.

Now he finally took her in his arms and headed towards Arthur's tent.

She woke up in the arms of the knights who couldn't rezist her charm.

* * *

As soon as they saw Merlin they hurried to him. They'd been worried for him. Even those who hadn't had the chance to spend much time with him had ended up caring for the clumsy servant. Then the stopped as they noticed the cute little cat. And they started to fight for the cat which didn't make Morgana quite happy. She tried to run away. She used her claws and she wasn't able to do much. Her face was precious. That plus the fact that only Merlin could understand what she said. Not that it was something interesting. For the rest it was all just miaws and miaws.

Eventually they let her go and Merlin had to climb a tree in order to get her back.

"If you don't come back I swear I will turn you into a worm." He threatened her mentally completly aware she could hear him. Finally she surrendered for fear of him keeping his promise, but she was unable to climb down. In fact little did she know how she'd managed to get there.


	2. Chapter 2

**I guess you won't need to be told that this chapter is kind of Morgana's diary. In fact, that's how most of the story is going to look. Please, do not forget to tell me what you think about this chapter. I will be short this time because is pretty late and tomorrow I have some courses.**

 **Thanks for following and favoring me. I'm waiting for your reviws as well.**

* * *

 _Tomorrow_ was supposed to be my day of glory. For years I've dreamt of nothing, but taking Camelot over. I hardly remember a time when I closed my eye without making plans on how to kill my dear I know it was a time, but it was just so remote like it was in another life; it was a time when i really loved him; a time when dreaming of him dying would have made me wake up in screams; a time when i even tried to defeat Uther order in order to save him; a time when I ran down the stars like crazy in order to prevent him from leaving. In fact I don't even know if it was me who did all those. There are just so many things I've said and done, so many people I've loved. There was a blue-eyed clumsy boy I used to trust…. I don't know why I think of all those things and most of all why I'm thinking at him.

But I had got over those memories long ago. It was maybe when my sister died or maybe in that horrible pit when I learned no one is ever going to save me. So I decided to stop caring. It was just another of those nights when I went to sleep because my body asked me to do so, not because I find any pleasure in sleeping. It was just so long since I had had any pleasant dream. It was supposed to be an irksome night. I had an impressive army outside. Emrys was finally gone and so my dear brother would finally be at my mercy. I pictured in my mind how my meeting with Arthur would go; his scared face as he would realize no one would come to rescue him as I had realized so many time. When he would realize he would die alone and there would be no one to hold him and give him the last onors. When he would realized that his body would be left at the mercy of crows and wolves.

Then I pictured how Emry would react when I would entered the cave as the new queen of Camelot, mighty and fearless to tell him that his dear friend was just a prey for the beasts. I pictured him watching into my eyes. I pictured his pain upon realizing how powerless he is. And that made me feel great. It made me feel powerful.

Then I pictured that is nothing else to picture. Fortunately my body was just too tired to register it and I feel asleep. For the first time in years my sleep was peaceful….and then I wake...a cat. I panicked. My mind couldn't figure out how it happened until I saw him. Tall and mighty and yet smiling like a child upon seeing his friends happiness while they teasing and fighting to hold me in their arms. They seemed to enjoy it. It made me sick. I not even realized that I ran away and climbed into the first tree I could find.

How I managed to do it I could not possibly explain to myself. I heard Merlin's words and I figure out (as strange as it might seem) that I prefer to be a cat rather than a worm. I can't live like a worm. Honestly, Merlin, a worm?! But I didn't tell him that. Obviously, I didn't want to obey him, but I was scared. Yes, I was scared. I will never admit it, but that was what I felt. I knew he could do pretty anything he wanted, even turn me into a worm. I had no magic. I could not hold a sword. Everything I was left with where claws and teeth, both pretty sharp. If only I would have known how to use my claws. Yet it didn't take longer to realize that even if I knew to use then, they would be useless against his magic. And I didn't know how to climb down, so he had to climb up the tree and take me.

For the rest of the day I was locked in an improvised cage. Soon I found about Arthur victory at Camlann. It didn't matter anyway. Everything I wanted was to get out of the body of that petty cat. It didn't happen, though. I was taken to Camelot, forced to endure an entire day on the road and listen to the knights cheerful voices and jokes. It wasn't funny. I knew Merlin could hear me, so I did everything in my power to ruin his day as well. I wasn't to have a good day neither would he. The other found me funny. Merlin explained me mentally that what other could hear were just crazy sounds. I couldn't helped imagining a cat meowing like crazy (well that cat was me, but it didn't matter) and burst into laughters.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again. I don't know what happened to me. I might have taken the bug of writting yet I'm happy that I managed to add another chapter although there were many other things I should have done.**

 **Well, I don't know if there was any cat in Camelot. I googled a bit and I found the cats have lived in England since Roman conquest. There were found some prints of cat's paw in concret or what Romans used back then. So, as Arthur was supposed to be a Roman commander or something like that (at least in some versions) I supposed there were cats in Camelot.**

* * *

It couldn't have been much terrifying. I had to stay in my little cage and every move of the horse felt like an earthquake. I felt sick…

I couldn't find a moment of peace. When finally they decided to stop for the night, the boys couldn't help fighting for holding me. They were really disgusting. Why had Gawain to be so fond of cats? And why me of all cats? Well, I'm not a cat...not that any noticed that and i was forced to endure their pathetic attempts of caressing me. Finally Merlin noticed my displasure. Not that I had threatened to kill Gawain repeatedly.

I was given food and then he locked me again that cage. How was I supposed to eat? I looked at Merlin. I had already known the answer, but I hoped he wouldn't say that. It isn't quite ladylike to eat directly with your mouth, is it? Merlin didn't seem to care. He moutered a "your problem" and left.

He was left for a while. I started to panic as he was the only one who could turn me back or at least the only one that could understand me. I couldn't imagine my life if I were to be just a cat for those around me; if my words meant nothing else but a meow. Damn, Merlin. And I was starving. I took some glances at the food. Damn, Merlin, but it looked quite delicious and I was forced to eat it like a cat. In fact, I was not even able to eat like one. I had the slightest idea how a cat should eat. When I finished my fur was all full of food and the knights couldn't help laughing. I probably looked hilarious even for a cat. I just heard one of them saying that I was a stupid cat and something about Merlin's ability to attract the strangest creatures around him. Arthur even added that even Merlin was less clumsy than me. Idiot. Eventually, they gave me more food. I wanted to run away as Percival opened the cage to put the food there, but Gawain caught me. Damn, knight.

Eventually Merlin came back... and he was holding a white cat in his arms. The cat was tiny and so skinny, but the kitten seemed to enjoy his company. They feeded it and the kitten ate all the food without a second thought. It looked a bit scared as the knights tried to hold it, but merlin calmed it instantly. It was like the kitten could understood him. It even liked to be caressed. In just few moments it had already conquered all hearts and soon I was forgotten. Each of them and even Arthur and Gwen wanted to hold the little kitten. Idiots!

I was trying to sleep, but I couldn't because of their giggles. Will they ever grow up? Couldn't they see how much the poor creature was suffering? I tried to explain it to Merlin, but he answered with a "are you jealous" question. Of course I wasn't. Eventually, the kitten fell asleep. I found it disgusting that it would endure the way they treat it just for a little food and a shelter.

The kitten wasn't locked in the cage as I had. It was left free and it slept near to Merlin's head. I couldn't help thinking that he would turn and caught the kitten under him and...well, no matter how disgusting I found its behaviour I didn't wanted it to die. I tried again to get Merlin's attention about the little fluffy thing. I couldn't sleep a moment. Everytime Merlin looked like he was about to turn I had to shout at him to not do that. At least he didn't sleep either. In fact, I think none slept that night. I remembered Arthur wake furious and demand Merlin to make me shut up. Idiot! I tried to explain him that the kitten was in danger. He watched me as if I were crazy.

"You're impossible." Merlin told me telepathically. "I won't kill her. So stop meowing, please." I wasn't meowing, at least I wasn't supposed to meow.

"It was you who turned me i to a cat, so do not complain if I'm meowing." I threw at him.

"Fine, I will turn you into a caterpillar. At least caterpillars aren't noisy. And maybe one do you will turn into a butterfly." I realized my remark wasn't actually a good idea. Yet, he decided to put the kitten in the cage near to me. "Hope you'll sleep now."

"Where have you found it?" I asked as I watched the little thing sleeping peacefully.

"I haven't found it. It's Aithusa." I watched him in shock. "She would be much happier like that."

"How could you know that?"

"Look at her. As a dragon people will keep hunting her, but as a cat she could live a peaceful live. More, I will be able to take her to Camelot and look after her. " I didn't say a word. I was just too tired to fight with him. I knew I would have enough time to do it the next day and the day after that, and the day after that,.and the day….Damn, Merlin.


	4. Chapter 4

We have arrived home for quite some time. I was brought in Merlin's chambers while he and Aithusa went out, probably serving Arthur as usually. And now I am bored. What am I suppose to do?

It's true that he has left me food and water and his bed looks quiet tempting. Well, it is by far as comfortable as my former bed in Camelot was, but it is way comfortable than those I had since my failure to take over the city and become queen. However, I have better things to do. For instance, I should find a way to kill Merlin or at least to make his life a leaving hell.

Will you help me find a way to punish Merlin? He deserves that and everybody knows it. Instead he plays the hero.. .… My claws are nor sharp enough to kill him (and I still find it difficult to use them) and even if they were, killing him will only meant that I will be a cat for the rest of my life. By the way, how long does a cat live? Being a cat means that I will die sooner, doesn't it? I will age much rapidly, aren't I?

First of all, I should eat something. I still don't agree with eating like a cat. I have to be grateful that Merlin has actually delivered my food on a plate rather than forcing me to eat from the floor. No, I don't own him a thing. It's only his fault that I am like that…Still the food is pretty good. It's been a while since I haven't eaten such good food. Those days he has never forgotten to serve my food. He has always spared some for me and Aithusa. However, I still hate him….but it's good to have something to eat anyway.

Have you thought about a way to punish him? I have already finished my food and now I'm going to have a nap. Merlin will have not probably come back until the idiot of my brother will be safe and sound in his bed, enjoying the privilege of being a king….So, forgive me if I be quite for a while. I really need that nap…

Wow, I hardly had time to lie on his bed that I fell asleep. I must have been really tired. But now I am awake and I have the slightest idea how I should kill my time. I could site near the window and watch the city from above. Boring… just ordinary people doing their ordinary chores…I'm bored….HELP!

What if I break Merlin's bed so he would not have where to sleep? Or I could make it pretty uncomfortable so when he will wake up the next morning he will ached all over. I may not be able to kill him, but I can ruin his sleep…..(evil laugh) … Now, how I do that? I've been trying to tear the mattress for hours, my claws are too small. To keep jumping on the bed does not help either as I am too light….Maybe….Merlin has left me plenty of water…What if I sill it all on his bed?!….

Damn it! How am I supposed to take it so I would not have spilt it before I arrive to the destination?….Damn it's all on the floor…..

Please, tell me what should I do? You are on my side, aren't you? I will never forgive you if you are actually caring for Merlin…. He has enough friends. I only have you …


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello. It's Sunday night again. Tomorrow is Monday. I get depresed thinking that I will have to wake up early. Not again. I want a vacation!**

 **Hope you don't bother a bit of drama. Next chapter will make up for it. I promise. As usually I wait for your answer. Thank you, Meri Ley. I must be very difficult for her to let the past behind and forgive Merlin. No matter what he does for her, it will take a while until it really counts.**

* * *

I'm bored. What am I supposed to do? I've never had a cat so I have the slightest idea what a cat usually does. Well, I'm not really a cat, but it matters little now….

Merlin is late. Gaius has brought me food. I wonder if he knows who I am. I don't think, considering he actually treats me like I were a cat. Aithusa has returned for a while, but she is deep asleep now. She was very tired and she didn't bother to explain a thing (supposing I would be able to understand her, which I'm not).

So, where is Merlin?

Boring….boring….boring…..

* * *

Nothing is happening. Aithusa is purring peacefully in the bad. I wish I could sleep, too, but I don't feel like. The city is quite as well. However, it looks lovely from up here. I've kind of forgotten how it feels to live in a castle surrounded by so many people. For a very long time, I've seen only wild animals and cruel men, be it merchants, sorcerers or Saxon warlords and soldiers. The houses are so small from here. Everything seems just so small, so vulnerable. I wonder how Merlin must have felt when he first saw Camelot from up here. Was it night as it is now or he saw it during the day? Was he impressed? His home village is a small place. He probably has never seen something like that before. But why am I thinking about him? Who cares what he felt back then? He is not the same boy. Was he ever that kind, sweet friend I've thought he was? Was it a lie? And if he was, why has he changed so much? What made him become a traitor and a murderer? What pushed him to the edge? Was he scared when he first came here? If he was, how makes he smiled so lovely every day? How could he joke with Arthur? How did he dare to stay around Uther? What has he seen at Arthur that made him put his faith on him? What have I done that I've made him give up on me?

Eventually, he came back. It was late. Even I was asleep. However, I heard his steps and I felt him gently moving me from the blanket so he could lie on the bed. I lifted me head and watched him. He was so close to me. He looked tired. I've never seen him like that. Even if Arthur worked him pretty badly I doubt it was because of his chores. He has always done them smiling. He has never looked tired. Now, he isn't smiling at all.

Yesterday he was just so happy with his friends. Why does he look so depressed now? Is my company so unpleasant that he has to be like that?

"I've never thought you will give me the pleasure to see you so hopeless, Merlin?" I've heard myself saying. "You have won the war, after all. Why don't you enjoy the victory? Your dear Arthur is safe, after all"

"Victory? " He answered sarcastically. "That wasn't victory. I've always thought that once Camlann would pass I will be happy. I managed to save Arthur. I should enjoy the fact that destiny gave me the chance to spend more time with him. Yet I feel more alone than ever. He is just too busy to notice me. I should enjoy the fact that he is happy with his wife yet I yearn for something like that, too. I should be thrilled that he does so much for his country, yet it hurts me that I can't freely do what I really want to do. I want to heal people. I want to build their houses. I want that my magic could really help people. I wish that children would laugh upon watching me drawing dragons from fire. But, no matter what, I'm just a servant. Before, Arthur used to ask for my pieces of advice. He needed me for something else than washing his floor and cleaning his armor. Now, that is all I am needed for. Before, I used to feel that I have a purpose. Now, I don't know what my purpose is. I've just lost so much in the process. I may have saved Arthur, but I've lost so many friends. It makes me feel so weak. I wish I could have saved them, too. I miss them. I… Why was I so weak? I just want to go back. I just want not to be alone anymore. I try so hard to laugh, but I feel that my maxillary hurts from too much pretending

What should I say? Should I say that I feel lonely, as well? No way, he is not my friend. In fact, I don't think he really cares what I feel or think. For him I am nothing else but the crazy witch, obsessed with usurping her brother and taking his throne. Why can't he see I was right? There really wasn't another way. Why can't he see that I've done it for my kin, for him as well?

Meanwhile, he turned and sank his head in the pillow. I couldn't resist and I've climbed on his body and pushed him on his back. Then I've started to jump on his chest forcing him to open his eyes.

"You are not going to sleep." I was just too bored and I didn't want to be alone again. Aithusa came as well and started to play with my tail. Instinctually, I've moved it away, but she kept following it. In fact, she seemed to enjoy that play….

Strangely, I enjoy it, too, now. It has been a while since I actually laughed. Even Merlin is laughing and Aithusa is such a troubadour. You should see her jumping in the air and falling on her four only to turn on her back and show her belly in a childlike attempt to beg for caressing.

* * *

 **Whoever doesn't have a cat should find one. I have four and one of them is named Aithusa. And I miss them all.**


	6. Chapter 6

It was the middle of the night when we were disturbed by a loud knock at the door. The three of us had already fallen asleep and we were completly alone. Gaius was in the low town checking on some of his patients and he hadn't returned yet.

Sleepily, Merlin went to the door only to find a cloaked woman waiting outside. Judging by her clothes she should have been a noble, but she was completely alone (Which to me looked pretty fishy. Which noble woman would go herself rather than sending a servant to bring the physician to her chambers?) However, Merlin didn't seem to care about those details.

Under any other circumstances, I wouldn't care either, but I've already witnessed enough attacks against Camelot during my time there for such a presence could pass unnoticed. You may wonder why I cared. After all, I've already plotted against the city for so many years than not even I can remember how I felt before. Well, as I've said, under any other circumstances I would have enjoyed such an opportunity, but I was a petty cat, unable to speak or do anything else but purr and wash my precious fur (at least I am still beautiful even as a cat) and so I got scared. For the first time I've realized that I need Merlin to feed me and give me a shelter. Without him I would only be a stray cat, full of flees and always hungry. Do not get me wrong. As soon as I would manage to regain my powers and my true self form, I would put an end to Merlin's petty life. But let's go back to the story.

The lady asked about Gaius and as she couldn't find him, she asked for Merlin's help. It was clear that Merlin was quite confused. He tried to explain that he was not skilled enough to treat her. Yet the lady insisted and without being invited, she went to Merlin's chambers and sat right on his bed. Merlin tried to do his job as well as possible while the lady watched him silently. It killed me that he didn't demand her to take off her cloak, but Merlin cared just so little about the stranger's face. He was just so caught into doing his part wonderfully. Even with her hood on, it was obvious that she was very beautiful. She wasn't for sure an ordinary girl and I think that Merlin was a bit intimidated by her presence.

Nevertheless, he became quite annoying. He should have told her that he couldn't be of any help and to ask her to come later when Gaius would be home. But, no, he just excused himself for being an idiot incapable apprentice of a great physician and as she gave him some tiny encouragements, he started to run around her as the lapdog he is, willing to impress her with his attention (as if any noble girl would ever care for a stupid servant).

"I haven't forgotten how clumsy you are with girls, Merlin." The lady spoke after a while. I was shocked to find that they knew each other.

However, her words brought me some long forgotten memories, memories from the time I used to think Merlin was indeed a clumsy boy. Though, despite being so clumsy and shy regarding me, his kindness and his cheerfulness and captured me. I've never thought him being and idiot. In fact, I've always been surprised by his sharp mind and his courage. His clumsiness made him sweet. Arthur and I had been brought up to be in check of every gesture. We were brought up to be confident, to be superior to any one, to never be wrong (in fact, to never admit being wrong). Merlin got us out from our everyday rigidity. Yet, I haven't seen that part of Merlin from such a very long time. Once, he discovered my alliance with Morgause, he has never been the same. His voice, his gestures, his actions, everything was checked. There was a note of superiority on everything he did that I hadn't felt before. It's quite funny, though. I've always thought he was at the mercy of my will. In fact, I've always been at his mercy. I hardly knew any spell while he'd already mastered complicated spells. Now, I know that all those problems, all those enemies Camelot had, they were all dealt by him. I was a stupid to think that he, who'd dealt with powerful sorcerers, would be afraid of a stupid witch as I was at the time. Uther would have listened to any wish of mine, but Uther was pettier than me. Yet, Merlin'd treasured friendship too much to take a risk. Powerful as he was, his magic, his real self, would have only lead to him losing his the once he loved. Emotions have always been his weakness….but they have been his strength as well. He will fight armies in order to protect these he cares for. If only I would have been one of them….I would never have to afraid of anything. Was I ever? Has he ever considered me someone that is worth fighting for? It doesn't matter now. Better we went back to the story.

"I've thought you were like that only with me." The lady added as she followed him in Gaius's chambers where he was trying to make so sort of concoction. I followed her as well curious to see what would happen next. It looked as if they knew each other pretty well…or maybe, he had a crush on the lady and he'd tried to gain her attention. Merlin had always been stupid regarding girls.

As he heard her words, Merlin turned back and, without adding any word, he quickly dragged her hook down. She was very beautiful indeed. Blue-eyes, dark haired, milky skin, it was no wonder he'd fell for her. So, I expected him to be happy upon seeing her (although I wish he wouldn't. I simply couldn't stand the idea of him having part of any type of happiness). Instead he put some distance between them while his face darkened. Even a cat would have noticed the tension that existed between them.

"You've died." He uttered. She only smirked. "What do you want from me?" I was clear she wasn't someone he wanted to see. I wondered how many things I were to find about him.

"I've missed you." She said as she stepped on, filling the distance between them. Without any warning, she put her hands around his neck and kissed him passionately. I found it disgusting. Why would a lady like her care for a servant? I couldn't help wondering who she was? I've never known he had a girlfriend or whatever she was.

Soon, he pushed her away. "What are you doing?" Merlin seemed furious. Their relationship was kind of awkward; at least that's how it looked to me. I couldn't figure out why he kept pushing her away. It was obvious he hadn't always been like that.

"I've told you before that we are meant to be together. We are too valuable for each other to keep fighting."

Her words don't seem those of a lover. To me, the lady looked like she cared more about something that made him valuable, his magic, I supposed. I have to admit that I felt hurt knowing that someone had known about his magic while I've haven't. I hardly could resist asking him what she had done to him so he'd told her about his powers. Yet, I said nothing. I just wait to hear what they had to say.

"You and I? There has never been anything before us, Nimueh." That name caught my attention. I thought it was a misunderstanding or simply a coincidence and she wasn't the famous High Priestess. "Plus I killed you, remember?" It was getting very confusing. I've hear that the High Priestess had disappeared, but how powerful was him to kill her? And if he'd killed her, why was she back. I have to keep all those questions for myself so I would listen to the rest of conversation.

"And still I came to you. I was willing to let go of the past because we need each other. Well, Merlin, there's a lot between us…We are both powerful creature of the Old Religion. We are both cruel and mighty and we want the same thing: magic back. What else should it be between us? Love? Do you still believe in this stupid thing? Feelings would only make us weak and we are not weak." She was indeed the Nimueh. The one Morgause had used to tell me so many stories. However, she wasn't mighty at all.

"I'm listening. What do you want? Gave my any reason why I should forget you threatened my mother and my friend and that you tried numerous times to destroy Camelot? Why should I trust you, after all?"

"That was a mistake. I know that and I will never dare to provoke you again. You'd ruined my plans and I wanted revenge. I want you to suffer. Reason? As I've said before, I want magic back. You said you would bring it back to the realm, but I can't see it. What happened?" It was getting interesting. It was the first time when I was really happy to be a cat as I was able to cast a glance upon his private life.

"Arthur will never accept it after everything that happened." I would have never thought he'd admitted that Arthur wouldn't bring magic back. Of course, he had to put the blame on others, probably on me, mostly.

"Maybe, I should tell him the truth." The High Priestess declared.

"And what are you supposed to tell him?" He didn't give much credit to her words. "That you killed his mother and you are sorry?" I wanted to see that. That Nimueh seemed to be quite stupid. Maybe, Merlin should let her speak with Arthur, I thought. I just wondered how he would execute her.

"I haven't killed her. I didn't mean to. It was my first time I've tried that spell and…I wish I'd never obeyed Uther's order, but he was the king and I didn't dare to say no. " This time his features soften. He'd believed her. So, Uther was really a monster. It wasn't like I hadn't known before.

"What if he's not going to believe you?"

"You'll convince him." She stated simply. Well, she was right. Merlin had a lot of influence on Arthur. However, there were some things Arthur would be just too stubborn to accept.

"He'd suffered a lot. He didn't deserve any more pain." Those were his petty words. She'd come with a plan (a stupid plan, but at least she had something) and his concern was Arthur's memories of his father. I really hated Merlin. He would always think about Arthur. He was so focused on protecting Arthur that he was such a stupid sometimes. Wait. I said _sometimes_? I mean _always_.

"Were you to be in his shoes would you be happy to be kept in the dark about something so important? Plus, he's the king. What about all those magic people? His happiness is worth their sufferings? And he had you to support him. Hard as it is for me to admit it, Uther's son may make a good king after all. However, he will have to grow up, first." She stated and honestly, I agreed with her (except the last part. Arthur and good king were words that doesn't match together. Everyone should know that)

"What about you? How could I know that you are trustworthy?"

"Are you afraid to take risks? The Merlin I knew wasn't scared." She mocked him and it seemed it worked.

" Fine, but if you tried something, do not blame me for being unmerciful." He threatened her. Him working with an evil sorceress was something really unpredictable. But what followed next was even more so.

"Don't worry, My Lord." She said. Him being addressed like that was something new for both of us. I could see that on his face. However, what I couldn't have expected was her kissing him again and this time he didn't try to push her back. "You're so hot when you're serious, Merlin." She joked as they part. "Do you have any plans for tonight?" She asked and she took him by the hand and pulled him inside his chambers. I wanted to follow them, but she closed the door before I could enter.

As I couldn't hear a thing (probably they put a spell so none could eardrop on them), I decided to look for a place to sleep. Only Aithusa looked happy. She'd found something to eat and she was making sure her belly would be full tonight.

* * *

No matter how much I try I can't sleep at all. I couldn't help hating him. She just told him some nice words and he accepted her as if nothing would have happened. I hope she's only using him. I really hope she didn't mean what she said. Anyway, Arthur will never accept magic, won't he? Why do I doubt? If she's telling the truth and they will succeed to bring magic back then….he will never leave her. But, why do I care about it? He can be with anyone he wants to be. Plus, Arthur will never allow magic back. And yet, I don't think I will sleep tonight.

* * *

 **Next time I will give you some details about what happened beyond those doors (just briefly, though).**


	7. Chapter 7

**First of all Merry Christmas to you all!**

 **Secondly, sorry for letting you to wait so long, but I was so busy these days.**

 **Thirdly, I want to share some of my tradition with you so here you have some links to some of the carols that are singed in my country.** **watch?v=xerEH8UAJvU &t=1401s watch?v=0eY2W3tRC6Q**

 **watch?v=xerEH8UAJvU &t=1401s**

 **watch?v=0eY2W3tRC6Q** **. (Yes, the lines above are copy paste from Eclipse. Sorry, but I want my message to arrive to all of you)**

 **Now, to go back to my story. Thank you all for being here, reading my story. Thank you, Meri Ley for your nice review. I like you pointed that it may be a difference between what Morgana claimed and what she really feels.**

 **I don't know how you all feel about Merlin-Nimueh relationship. I've always thought they would be an interesting couple. I would like to know your opinion, as well.**

* * *

Nimueh's presence had overwhelmed him. Her idea was quite tempting, but he'd already suffered a lot for trusting the wrong people. However, he wasn't the same. If she were to dare to do something wrong he wouldn't hesitate to kill her. Despite of all those doubts, he couldn't just send her away. He'd spent so many years dreaming of the day when magic would be free. Now he had a chance. It was risky indeed, but when did his life had been easy, after all? Merlin wanted to believe her, but he was decided not to let his feeling interfere with his judgment.

Now he was completely alone with Nimueh in his chambers. Part of him wondered while he'd allowed her to kiss him. The warlock knew it wasn't real, but never had Nimueh claimed to have any feelings towards him; so, it wasn't like she was lying to him. Moreover, he hadn't any feelings towards her either. He'd had a crush on her when they met first, but seeing her again he'd realized that feeling was gone forever. He was young, she was beautiful. Everything that had changed since then was that he wasn't that young anymore. Another part of him enjoyed the moment. It was quite new and tempting. He'd only feared that he'd ruined all the girls that were to love him. His life was too complicated for anyone to stay at his side. It would only bring misery and a lot of danger to the one who was to be on his side. Yet, the idea spending his life alone scared him to death. Merlin had always been afraid of being lonely. With Nimueh he wouldn't have to worry. She wasn't an ordinary girl and she wouldn't get hurt easily. Plus, she didn't care for him. They were just two allies that share certain interests.

Merlin hesitated for a while as the door closed behind him and she hugged him passionately. He knew that Morgana wouldn't hear him due to the spell he'd cast long ago on his door, so no one would know what would happen behind those door. She could only suppose. The question was what he really wanted to happen.

"Let's make a deal." Nimueh spoke as she saw his confused look. "You teach me to be a good person. I teach you to be a bad guy." She smiled and without letting go of his hand she leaded him to the bed. "Deal?"

Merlin had always been afraid of being a bad guy, but he'd already make enough bad things to be one. He wasn't a hero. Maybe, he should stop trying to control everything. Anyway, life or destiny – how they all like to call it - would not care about what he wanted. It would follow its path whether he liked it or not. To stop it was just like selling against the wind: useless and dangerous. Before he even realized, Merlin answered to her passionate kiss.

"So, we're deal." Nimueh whispered at his ear.

"Let's see who's a better disciple." He challenged her and before she could give any answer, he pulled her back in the bed….


	8. Chapter 8

**I have bad news. I've lost inspiration and I don't know how to continue. Any suggestion is welcome.**

* * *

Nimueh was the first to wake up. She chose one of his shirts –not that there were many- and put it on. Then she went to the next room to find some food. As she opened the door the High Priestess noticed a black cat waiting at the door. She passed by the cat and entered the room. There was hardly something to eat and that annoyed her.

* * *

Morgana had tried her best to sleep, but she couldn't. Eventulally, Aithusa woke up as well. The former dragoness gave her best to make her feel better, but it didn't work. As much as she loved Aithusa, Morgana was too troubled to enjoy the moment.

* * *

When Nimueh opened the door, Morgana had already been there. She studied the witch. She was really beautiful. Morgana had to admit it. However, Morgana couldn't help hating her. Merlin's shirt could hardly cover much of her body and no matter how great she looked, Morgana found it too vulgar. Nimueh cared little what others were thinking, though.

* * *

Morgana entered the room. Merlin was still asleep. She really wanted to kill him in that moment. If only her claws would be more dangerous. Yet they were painful enough and Merlin'd bare back was just the perfect playground for the "kitten". At least she would manage to erase that stupid smile on his face.

Merlin woke up as Morgana's claws cut deep in his flash. At first he was confused. He could hardly remember what had happened. He hadn't sleep that peacefully for years. His eyes fell on the cat, whose eyes glittered with hate. Merlin tried to dodge her next attack, but she was so quick and skilled that it was impossible to escape unscathed. Morgana was ready for another jump when he was saved by Nimueh.

The witch took the cat and locked it into a cage. In vain did she fight to get out, the cage wouldn't open.

* * *

Nimueh hadn't noticed when Merlin woke up. She only heard him trying to keep the cat away. Why he hadn't used his magic to stop that stupid cat, the witch couldn't figure out, but she suspected that he didn't want to hurt it. In fact, it would have been a lie to pretend that she actually didn't know who the cat was. However, Nimueh cared little about it. Merlin was kind enough with Uther's daughter. Being forced to live like a cat was little compared with what he could have really done. However, she didn't blame him. Morgana had been his friend and Merlin wasn't the type to let go so easily especially that he felt he could have saved her. Maybe he still can…..Nimueh looked at him. His back was all covered in scratches, yet the witch couldn't help bursting into laughter. That boy was a mystery for her.

* * *

I hadn't realized when Nimueh had entered the room. I was suddenly covered into a blanket and then thrown inside a cage. All my effort to escape was in vain and so I had no option but to calm down. At least until I noticed that Nimueh was cleaning Merlin's wounds and he seemed to enjoy her help. They were disgusting. She had only put her hands around his neck that he pushed her closer and kissed her passionately.

I didn't know what was worse, seeing them together or realizing that I would have to spend the day in a cage. However, it was clear that those wounds were quite painful and that made me feel victorious. It was the only satisfaction I had in years.

I hate that I couldn't hear the explanation they had to give Gaius as he'd "caught" them together. I bet it was quite funny. Well, the old man's expression was precious anyway. Even if I was a cat and I couldn't hear a thing, I was clever enough to realize he wasn't happy with Merlin's new girlfriend.

I refused to speak with Merlin all day and the next day. Eventually, I had to let go as he'd proposed me to go with him in the castle while he was doing his chores. I guess it was his way of trying to make peace with me. My ego told me to refuse him, especially that he'd made me promise I wouldn't do anything stupid, but I was too sick of that room that I was willing to do anything.

Following him was hardly captivating. Yet it gave me the opportunity to have him punished by the king as I'd eaten Arthur's breakfast. I had forgotten how funny it was to annoy Arthur. As I spent much time with them, I started to find many such "opportunities" to annoy them. After all, it turned into a good day. And my day was about to become much better as Nimueh wasn't there when we came back to our chambers. But my joy didn't last for long. She came and I was, once again, forgotten in Gaius chambers.

However, Aithusa seemed to like Nimueh and the witch was pretty nice with the tiny kitten. I tried to explain Aithusa that the witch was a bad person and told her about what she'd done, but it didn't change her opinion about Nimueh. She only muttered "Merlin happy" as if the happiness of Merlin was the most important thing in the world. I pointed her that thing and Aithusa answered with "peace". She hadn't managed to learn many words and so it was very difficult to understand her. It was only after she called Merlin that I finally understood what she meant( As he was a dragon Lord he was able to use the dragon tongue to communicate with her).

Aithusa though that Nimueh really meant what she said and that her actions would help Merlin achieved his goal, which was peace among the magic and no-magic people. She also thought that people could change and that everybody deserved to have a second chance. Aithusa hoped that once the magic would be back I would let all the hate behind and start a new life while the people would understand my actions and would eventually forgive me.

My obvious question was "Why he needed Nimueh?" and her answered shocked me "Because she is willing to let go of the past for the hope of a better future while you can't. Because she came when he needed her the most."

I didn't want to hear more. All these time I've thought that I was doing the right thing. I've lied myself that once I would be queen I would bring back magic. But suddenly I started to doubt my decisions. I wished they would fail so I wouldn't have to live with the guilt of giving up too early. For the first time I realized that it could have been me instead of Nimueh and…. I started to realize how happy my life would have been should we have worked together. Even if I didn't admit it pranking and teasing Merlin and Arthur made me way happier than trying to kill them.

It didn't matter, though. Right now they need a miracle otherwise Arthur wouldn't accept them. Worse, he would hate Merlin, as well. And I hated him for being able to risk so much just because she'd promised to help him. He would have never risk that much for me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Finally, we reached the end. Hope you will forgive me for making you wait so long.**

* * *

Merlin and Nimueh had finally agreed on the plan. They had debated for hours. It was either Merlin found it the plan too harsh for Arthur or she found it too lenient and so inefficient. I thought that both were crazy. It wasn't going to work. Yet I followed them. I couldn't miss the moment Arthur was going to chop their heads.

 _Arthur was in his chambers. He had never expected to see a dark-haired woman entering inside. At first, he didn't remember who she was._

 _"Hello, Arthur." She greeted him. She was staring at him with her deep blue eyes._

 _"You…" It would have been impossible to forget such eyes. Nimueh had made clear she wouldn't be forgotten so easily._

 _"How do you do?"_

 _"What do you want?" He asked as he tightened his grip on his sword._

 _"Me? Peace. I've come to have a little chat. Put that sword down, little prince."_

 _"I'm listening. Say what you have to say." He ordered. His voice was firm and strong even if deep down he was afraid of the witch. He was quite aware that he stand no chance against her._

 _"I want to tell you an old story. A story that had happened before you were bornt. I'm going to let you decide who the villain is."_

 _Nimueh started her story about the time when she was friend with Uther. Then she told him about the deal he'd made with him and how badly it had ended. How she was too young to know what she was doing. How he'd killed everyone she'd ever loved in order to have his revenge. As she finished, everything he'd known before turned into a big mystery. The king did not know what to believe._

 _"I will let you think it through. I know that deep down, you are the king Camelot deserves. You just need to pay more attention." Before he could say a world she disappeared._

 _Now, it was time for Merlin to play his part. The warlock had already know what Nimueh had told his friend. He couldn't help listening to the conversation._

 _The warlock tried his best to act as normal as possible. It should be Arthur who would speake first. Till then, Merlin was only be his old friend._

 _Merlin could notice how much it had affected his friend so he said nothing. He just do his chores silently. Arthur watched him. He was internally debating if he should ask his servant. It was Merlin that decided to break the silence._

 _"What did she tell you?" Merlin asked._

 _"It's complicated." The king answered suddenly disregarding his interlocutor._

 _"You haven't tried yet." Arthur stared at his friend. He was aware that it was stupid of him to disregard Merlin's power of understanding. He might have called him "stupid", but the king had never believed that Merlin was actually stupid. " Listen, Arthur. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't have trust a word of what Nimueh had to say."_

 _"You know who she is?" Arthur was shocked that his servant had found about the witch._

 _"Yes. We've met long ago and she wasn't someone to get unnoticed. But that's not about me. She told the truth. Well, I can't guarantee that she is as innocent as she likes to believe, but the story is true. I've known it for a while, but I didn't want to hurt you. However, there is no other way. Things had already got out of control. You are a good ruler, but… there are people who deserve to be part of this world as well. It isn't magic that I dangerous, but people are. Each person has the power to decide how to use their power. Some of us are granted more power than other, but at the end of the day we all have the control of our own actions. Evil will exist no matter what you decide, but why should we push away the good in people, just because one day it might turn into evil?"_

 _"You think I should bring back magic." It wasn't a question._

 _"I think it's the right time to create the world you've promise. Morgana won't be a threat anymore. Nimueh cares more for freedom than revenge, the druids only wanted a sign from you and they are willing to follow you until the end. And so do I."_

 _"So you'll help me making it happen?! I've always thought you are afraid of magic. It won't be easy. Do you think that they will accept me as their ruler? I'm just an ordinary man."_

 _"You are my friend. I can't offer my sword. It would be stupid of me to try. However, there is something that I've always been better than anyone else and that is magic." Arthur watched him with big eyes. "How do you actually thought we've managed to survive so long? And no, I'm not afraid of magic. I've been born with it. I could move objects before I was able to speak." And in order to make his point heard he conjured a dragon. The dragon danced for a while then it vanish. "You have always known that I've never obeyed rules."_

 _Arthur felt his world crashing down. A part of him was happy that Merlin was a sorcerer. He was the best proof he could gain that magic could be good. The dragon was really lovely. Even he, who had lived in fear of magic could notice that. Another part of him was hurt. Merlin was the only person he'd though he could trust no matter what, but it seemed that he had lied him as well._

 _"Why now?" Arthur asked._

 _"Because you are ready now. I was afraid that if you were to find it earlier I would be forced to leave you and as much as I admire you, I have to admit that you wouldn't survive long without me."_

 _Arthur laughed upon hearing those words. He couldn't imagine Merlin saving his life, but it was something in the way his friend had said it that made him stop._

 _"How strong are you exactly?"_

 _"Kilgharrah said I'm the strongest warlock that has ever walked on the Earth. I think he is exaggerating. Powerful enough to fight for what I believe to be right. I think that's the best way to put it._ "

* * *

Some weeks later, magic was back. At first, people were afraid, but slowly they started to accept it. Merlin made it clear that he wouldn't force them. The magic beings were also patients and they didn't force their way. They were only happy to know they wouldn't be executed...

Eventually, I recovered my old form and a year later I married a powerful king and so I finally got my crown. I and Merlin remained friends for ever.

Nimueh and Merlin eventually broke up. It would take a century until he found the one.

Even if I had been happy with my husband my heart had always belonged to Merlin. It had been my pride that had stopped me to admit it at first, but in the end, I found the courage to say it aloud.

* * *

 **Meri Ley, sorry for not making Merlin scheming and inscrutable and neither a ladies' man. I just felt the context didn't justify this change of character. He really cares for Arthur and I've thought that trying the fair way was the natural thing to do. Probably if Arthur would have refused to accept and understand him that change would have been justified. I've thought that having already a story in which Merlin was this type of Don Juan was enough (I mean the eclipse). I want that each of my story to be different even if they are all around Merlin and Morgana.**

 **If someone has a better idea, I don't bother if they "borrow" my story. You are free to do any change you want. Just send me a PM so to read it.**


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